The Human Struggle

[Happy Camper]

I've had a lot of troubling interaction with friends lately. The latest discussion with my boyfriend.

In some ways I'm a little flimsy and easily shaken. Different ideas entertain me so much that I ponder them and wonder "what if" and am really into theoreticals. Rather than finding one way of thinking and sticking to it and devoting to it. I like more of an array of different things. I've often wondered if I'm guilty of having a mind that's so open, my brain might fall out.

But if I were to have one core principal...it would be that the human condition is to struggle. That if life were perfect, it'd be boring and worthless. It's about the journey rather than the destination. But in order for the journey to be worthwhile, you have to want the destination. In order to enjoy the journey, you have to know that the destination is unattainable. Now of course I cry and whine and have meltdowns and I won't always so readily admit that struggle and pain are good. But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And I've found the most painful experiences in life to be the ones I've grown from most.

So when other people challenge me, I'm so appreciative of them. Not always immediately. And...I love to be challenged. And I've always felt like I'm doing good when I challenge other people. Give them harsh truths...or challenge their beliefs. Because I assume they'll feel uncomfortable at first but learn something from it.

But all my friends lately just hate me for it.

Now I suppose I set myself up for it...but I was explaining all this to my boyfriend because he was lamenting his imperfections and how he wants to be happy now and he treated me like the most bizzare creature to ever walk the earth. That nobody wants to be challenged and I'd be better off if I learned that.

I'm basically in wtf mode right now. I'm curious for all of your thoughts on this.

[thewake]

Do what you feel is best, if they don't want to hear you they can always leave.

And part of the human condition, actually the biggest hunk, is to struggle. It is the journey, not the destination.
It's the revolution, not the new order, that embodies the ideals. It's the road trip, not Disneyland, that gives them most entertaining ride.

I'm not one to figure things out for you, but one thing I have learned from you is to choose your struggles. Why not challenge them a little les? Pick and choose if it annoys people.

Oh, and about your boyfriend... I'm not very good on those kinds of relationships, it really even makes me sad to thing about gf/bf things...:(

[SoulRiser]

While being challenged is good for people, I don't think many will admit it or seek out challenges willingly... so if you're going to challenge people on purpose, it may be best not to tell them what you're doing. On the other hand, that may be considered a bit manipulative.

I guess it depends on the person and the situation. If someone's already having a lot of trouble with something, it may be best not to challenge them further. Or at least wait until they've made progress and are comfortable again. If someone is in 'panic mode' - don't add more challenge. But if they're in 'ponder mode' it might be good then. Or ask them first. Or put it in such a way that they can't blame you. I dunno. There are very few people I would directly challenge in that way without at least having some kind of 'backup' - like pretending I was just joking or being sarcastic if they take it the wrong way. But I'm generally pretty careful around people. You just never know when they might spontaneously combust...

Quote:Different ideas entertain me so much that I ponder them and wonder "what if" and am really into theoreticals. Rather than finding one way of thinking and sticking to it and devoting to it. I like more of an array of different things. I've often wondered if I'm guilty of having a mind that's so open, my brain might fall out.

I'm kinda like that too. I think 'what if' about all sorts of stuff. I'm not so interested in the "what is"... and if someone wants to tell me "this is how it works", my first reaction would be "what else can I make it do?".

Quote:In order to enjoy the journey, you have to know that the destination is unattainable.

I'm not really sure how that works though. Wouldn't that make most people give up? I think it'd be better if you think it may be attainable, but you're unsure. So there's at least some hope there. Actually, that makes sense now. If you think it's attainable, you'll be too focused on the destination and won't enjoy the journey. Or at least, that's what most people would do. So it'd either have to be unattainable, or you'd have to actually want the journey at least as much as the destination.

[liq3]

I hate it when people use the word "struggle". It's very negative, implying life is supposed to be bad. I much prefer the term "grow". I do believe humans are supposed to spend most of their life doing nothing but growing. Just learning, training skills, stuff like that.

Happy Camper Wrote:In some ways I'm a little flimsy and easily shaken. Different ideas entertain me so much that I ponder them and wonder "what if" and am really into theoreticals. Rather than finding one way of thinking and sticking to it and devoting to it. I like more of an array of different things. I've often wondered if I'm guilty of having a mind that's so open, my brain might fall out.

I'm not sure what you mean... You do remind me of a quote.

“Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.”

I don't know if this is related, but I'm a very practical person myself. I don't care about something unless I have a use for it. This includes information.

Happy Camper Wrote:That if life were perfect, it'd be boring and worthless.

What's funny, is that the creation idea of SR is that humans were created from a single perfect being*, because he couldn't experience growth in his perfect state.


*Please don't take this literally. The words I used are incorrect and portray the wrong idea. The gist is correct though.

[Happy Camper]

SoulRiser Wrote:While being challenged is good for people, I don't think many will admit it or seek out challenges willingly...

I don't think any of us do on a conscious level. Most of us don't even on a subconscious level. Point is, agreed.

Quote:so if you're going to challenge people on purpose, it may be best not to tell them what you're doing. On the other hand, that may be considered a bit manipulative.

Nevar.

Quote:

Quote:I guess it depends on the person and the situation. If someone's already having a lot of trouble with something, it may be best not to challenge them further. Or at least wait until they've made progress and are comfortable again. If someone is in 'panic mode' - don't add more challenge. But if they're in 'ponder mode' it might be good then. Or ask them first. Or put it in such a way that they can't blame you. I dunno. There are very few people I would directly challenge in that way without at least having some kind of 'backup' - like pretending I was just joking or being sarcastic if they take it the wrong way. But I'm generally pretty careful around people. You just never know when they might spontaneously combust...

Well of course.

Quote:Different ideas entertain me so much that I ponder them and wonder "what if" and am really into theoreticals. Rather than finding one way of thinking and sticking to it and devoting to it. I like more of an array of different things. I've often wondered if I'm guilty of having a mind that's so open, my brain might fall out.

I'm kinda like that too. I think 'what if' about all sorts of stuff. I'm not so interested in the "what is"... and if someone wants to tell me "this is how it works", my first reaction would be "what else can I make it do?".

I like that, the use of "what is". That's exactly what I'm saying. The theoretical is so much more interesting than the actual. Not that the actual isn't fascinating as well...

Quote:

Quote:In order to enjoy the journey, you have to know that the destination is unattainable.

I'm not really sure how that works though. Wouldn't that make most people give up? I think it'd be better if you think it may be attainable, but you're unsure. So there's at least some hope there. Actually, that makes sense now. If you think it's attainable, you'll be too focused on the destination and won't enjoy the journey. Or at least, that's what most people would do. So it'd either have to be unattainable, or you'd have to actually want the journey at least as much as the destination.

I don't know if we have to know this on a conscious level necessarilly. I just think we sometimes expect the destination so much that we dismiss the journey and since the destination will never be reached...well, that seems sad that they'd miss out on what they can like.

liq3 Wrote:I hate it when people use the word "struggle". It's very negative, implying life is supposed to be bad. I much prefer the term "grow". I do believe humans are supposed to spend most of their life doing nothing but growing. Just learning, training skills, stuff like that.

I see them to be very connected. It's kind of dualistic almost. You have struggle on the negative end and growth on the positive end and it's yin and yang. maybe not. But yes, this is the basic idea semantics aside. Evolution and all that.

Quote:

Happy Camper Wrote:In some ways I'm a little flimsy and easily shaken. Different ideas entertain me so much that I ponder them and wonder "what if" and am really into theoreticals. Rather than finding one way of thinking and sticking to it and devoting to it. I like more of an array of different things. I've often wondered if I'm guilty of having a mind that's so open, my brain might fall out.

I'm not sure what you mean... You do remind me of a quote.

“Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.”

I don't know if this is related, but I'm a very practical person myself. I don't care about something unless I have a use for it. This includes information.

Soul said it best. It's a matter of "What ifs" rather than "What is". I've been guilty of making absurd statements about life and people using them against me later. And I just have to point out that it was hypothetical. I didn't claim it was true. I just entertained the idea that it might be. That kind of thing.

[liq3]

Happy Camper Wrote:Soul said it best. It's a matter of "What ifs" rather than "What is". I've been guilty of making absurd statements about life and people using them against me later. And I just have to point out that it was hypothetical. I didn't claim it was true. I just entertained the idea that it might be. That kind of thing.

Oh, I know exactly what you are talking about now. Yes, I do that too.

[SoulRiser]

Quote:The theoretical is so much more interesting than the actual. Not that the actual isn't fascinating as well...

Yup. It's sad that most people dismiss thinking about "what if" stuff just because they don't think it'll ever happen.

Quote:I don't know if we have to know this on a conscious level necessarilly. I just think we sometimes expect the destination so much that we dismiss the journey and since the destination will never be reached...well, that seems sad that they'd miss out on what they can like.

True. Obsessing over the destination ruins the journey because the journey becomes a neverending string of "Am I there yet? No? Damn!"