Things I've learned from movies

[mudkip liek]

I'm bored out of my skull so I thought I'd do this. Anybody can add to it if they want. If not, this thread is fucking fail.

1. If there's a food fight in the movie, a teacher/principal MUST get hit in the face. And it's usually spaghetti or something with sauce.

2. When someone is on the run (usually a female), they move to a different city, rent a shitty apartment, and a scene is shown with them in front of a mirror holding scissors, switching between shots of the bathroom floor with their hair on it. The next scene is them walking down a busy sidewalk with cut, dyed hair and sunglasses.

3. In older scary movies there's always that sudden "BOO!" scene where the bad guy/monster/whatever comes out of nowhere and attacks/scares the good guy. In newer movies, the scary background music starts playing and grows louder and scarier as the good guy is carefully and quietly walking through the rooms of a dark house...only to find out it was a cat or something. The good guy then sighs in relief, the music fading away....then BAM, the bad guy comes out of nowhere.

4. Car scenes: person gets in car and puts their belongings in passenger seat. Takes key, and right as they're about to put it in the ignition they sorta look in the rear view mirror, only to find out there's another pair of eyes looking back at them other than their own. You know where it goes from there.

5. In superhero movies, there's ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS a night scene where the hero is jumping from skyscraper to skyscraper with busy streets down below.

[MM]

In scary movies, when someone is trying to get away in a car, the car rarely starts, or starts just in the nick of time.

[mudkip liek]

Yeah, their hands especially start to shake as they're holding the keys and that just messes everything up.

[youvebeenthunderstruck]

It's OK to pick up the phone and not say hello, everybody instantly knows who it is.

[Michio-kun]

The black guy, is the bad guy.

[mudkip liek]

Or the black guy, always dies.

[Michio-kun]

Or it's the rich, white, old guy, with tons of money.

[mudkip liek]

Yup, and he's usually the main guy, the hardest to kill but usually dies in the end.

Also, when a noise is heard, they always check and it's always a bad decision.

[Milk2Go]

1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade - at any time of the year.

2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

10. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.

11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.

12. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

13. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

15. All single women have a cat.

16. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

17. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

18. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

19. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

[Rebelnerd]

-The more armor an enemy wears, the more incompetant at fighting he will be. Someone in full SWAT gear with high-tech weapons probably can't hit a 747 with a shotgun...from inside the plane. But someone with two shiny pistols and a skintight leather bikini means run for your life.

-Swords beat guns under any circumstances, except in Indiana Jones.

-Heroes can only die between 5:00 and 6:00 pm, because otherwise there would not be a beautiful sunset in the background.

-Swordfights must always take place on a precarious cliff or bridge.

-Death is a temporary inconveniance.

-All bombs are timed to go off just as you are running down a tunnel, so that you may outrun the fireball just in time.

-Supervillians are known to kidnap special ed students and raised them to be security guards.

-People of German descent cannot fire a weapon accurately.

-When preparing to travel to China, Japan, Vietnam, or Hong Kong, a burst of generic, traditional-sounding Asian music must sound in the background, complete with gong. And the first thing you will see when getting off the plane is the Great Wall, even if you have landed in Tokyo.

-Arabs and Mexicans are interchangeable.

-Every secretive government agency has at least ten moles per department.

[Michio-kun]

Quote:-The more armor an enemy wears, the more incompetant at fighting he will be. Someone in full SWAT gear with high-tech weapons probably can't hit a 747 with a shotgun...from inside the plane. But someone with two shiny pistols and a skintight leather bikini means run for your life.

Anyone here seen the anime Black Lagoon?

Oh so relevant picture:



This bitch can outgun an entire fucking military base.

[MM]

BobManPerson Wrote:2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

Lol I was about to post one similar to this.

[Double]

- Every single natural disaster always begins somewhere in the U.S.

[random_name]

-when watching a film about normal people in a school, everyone is a trained dancer

[mudkip liek]

-in movies with sports, there's always a scene that features some kind of work-out song in the background while the players are shown practicing and getting better. Then at the end of the scene, it shows them walking in a line in slow motion on a field.

[random_name]

-in most films, when something goes right something else always goes wrong.

[classclown]

the good guy usally wins even if it didnt happen in the book

[Rebelnerd]

chemistry hater Wrote:-in movies with sports, there's always a scene that features some kind of work-out song in the background while the players are shown practicing and getting better. Then at the end of the scene, it shows them walking in a line in slow motion on a field.

MONTAGE!!!!!!

[mudkip liek]

Rebelnerd Wrote:

chemistry hater Wrote:-in movies with sports, there's always a scene that features some kind of work-out song in the background while the players are shown practicing and getting better. Then at the end of the scene, it shows them walking in a line in slow motion on a field.

A MONTAGE SEQUENCE!!!!!!

Fix'd.

[whole.cult]

When there's a sex scene, they always start at the feet or something. Maybe show the table shaking as people have intercourse underneath it. idk

[monkey]

-Any small fire within a structure or building will ignite into a series of fiery explosions in at least 15 seconds.

-If a hero's female side-kick handles a rocket launcher they will always fire it backwards first, then forwards and will be able to hit there target.

-If a hero has a female side-kick there will always be a sex scene ALWAYS.

-obtaining loaded shotguns and mp-5's is extremely easy.

[HeartofShadows]

- The main characters can travel distances that normally take days in mere hours.

- If the main character attempts to find out answers to a mysterious plot around him than he will automatically be framed for murder or some other horrible crime and must dodge the police who for some reason put more effort into finding just him than other people who broke his same crime.

- If the main character gets a power or unique ability than eventually the villians and other allies gain the exact same ability but the main characters will always be stronger.

- The strongest and most deadliest assassins in the world are beautiful or very young women.

-If the main character has a dead in life and no meaning what so ever in it he will meet a girl who gives it meaning. If she dies than he will die by suicide or by a factor he cannot see coming which is usually after promising to leave on and remember her.

-The bad guy usually has been wronged and is trying to make the world a better place while the heros want it to stay the same.

- Terrorists and rebels are so easy to bump into that they basically live next door and outside while posing as bums.

- If the main character starts laughing uncontrollably after the whole scenario and when he's alone than you can concur that he had a hand in whats happened the whole movie and that he's the true mastermind.

[returnal]

If it has to do with a kidnapping. the hero will ALWAYS be a faux-badass mo-fo who loves to torture people to get answers.

[whole.cult]

People always know what to say when they call people. They don't stutter or sit in silence during a call. If they've said what they need to, then they just hang up.

[Pieman]

The villans ALWAYS put timers on their doomsday devices long enough for the heros to deactivate them.

[arthasmenethil]

If you have sex when there is a killer on the loose, you and your partner will die during or shortly after intercourse.

If you think you've killed the killer, you haven't.(even if he's blown to peices)

A cop can only solve a case after he/she has been suspended from duty.

If you want to win something bad enough, no matter how much the odds are against you, you are garenteed to win.

Police officers are always partners with people are the exact opposite of them.

If you hear a noise, and think it was just the cat, you will soon die.

[random_name]

if you shoot with your eyes closed, you will always hit the target

prostitutes always fall in love with the people paying for them

[Rebelnerd]

christillusion Wrote:If you hear a noise, and think it was just the cat, you will soon die.

What if you think it's the dog?

[arthasmenethil]

Rebelnerd Wrote:

christillusion Wrote:If you hear a noise, and think it was just the cat, you will soon die.

What if you think it's the dog?

The dog will mutate into a horrible monster and kill you so you will soon die.

[Rebelnerd]

Or the crossbow-wielding hordes of the Humungous's gas-pirate army will shoot your dog in the head.