Have you ever read someone's private email/chats?

[SoulRiser]

Have you ever read someone's private stuff (email/chats/texts/journal/whatever), knowing full well it isn't your business, but you read it anyway?

If so, why did you do it?

I have recently done such a thing and can't for the life of me figure out WHY. Curious, yes... sure, I was curious... but how in the hell did curiosity completely overpower my common sense? I don't even know what I thought I was going to find in there. It was just like "oooh information, I wonder what's in it"...

[brainiac3397]

I usually do that to my friends. They try to do it to me, but I smartly have a password.

I have an insatiable curiosity, can't help it

(And it's not always my friends, I may do it to whoever might have left it "accessible", though I'll usually go only as far as peeking, or "accidentally" pressing that one button that will reveal more than there is, like the backspace button or the enter button, or maybe just bump the mouse if the screen is on standby)

I harbor no evil intentions though!

[Thought Criminal]

Yeah, I've done that a few times. Usually if I believe something that affects me is being withheld or if I stand to gain from possible information.
Not something I make a habit of mind you.

[Chunklemcdunkle]

I've only done it once or twice to my exes. Self explanatory.

Never do it with anything that doesn't effect me though... Having had my own privacy invaded by friends, I absolutely HATE when people do it to me....so I would never do it to another person.

[brainiac3397]

(06-07-2013 01:17 PM)Chunklemcdunkle Wrote:  I've only done it once or twice to my exes. Self explanatory.

Never do it with anything that doesn't effect me though... Having had my own privacy invaded by friends, I absolutely HATE when people do it to me....so I would never do it to another person.

I'd hate it too, but if a person really cared about their privacy, they'd make sure to erase the long history of anime/furry porn sites on their web browser(my friend still insists it was his cousin, but I'm skeptical )

I don't see any invading when they leave the door open, even a little, and all you do is look in. That's just "revealing to the public".

[stevehein]

hug to sr

[SoulRiser]

Thanks

It's not out in the open if it's a file... I mean, I would still have to double-click it to open. That's the part I shouldn't have done in the first place, because after I saw the first bit, the curiosity just took over.

But yeah, personally I keep private chats encrypted. I find it odd that not everyone does that...

[Thought Criminal]

Yeah but most people aren't Soulriser so they suck at computing.

[brainiac3397]

Well, nowadays you can practically Google your question/concern and get an answer somewhere. You may not learn to be as good as Soul, but you can steal anothers soul. Though, the fact soul is encrypting private chats sounds very suspicious. Maybe Soul isn't just involved with anti-school teens but global warlords and arms dealers? Tsk tsk.

Speaking of computing, I wonder if I remember my login for Hackthissite. The very little skills I do know have become so rusted, I'd probably be better off using a computer from the 60s. Need to get doing.

[cheeselover]

hi - this is actually steve using my partners account. she's here with me btw. we were talking about how the replies don't focus on the emotional aspects of what happened. so i searched the post for the word guilt, and found no results. then i searched for forgive and found no results, then i searched for "apolog" and found no results. then we talked more about how no one is talking about the feelings involved, so then i searched for feel and found no results.

this says a lot and as for how i feel, i feel sad about this. there are intellectually smart pple here and no doubt emotionally smart but the emotional stuff is just sort of missing... as in much of school, work, and basically english speaking cultures. i also feel a bit scared by all of this. scared by what kind of people english speaking cultures are producing

to cheeselover and i, the emotional aspect of what sr did and how her flatmate responded and then how she felt after etc is the main issue. but the discussion just misses all of that.

so i'd ask sr how she felt, like how guilty, cuz she obviously felt guilty. so how guilty from zero to ten. how forgiven does she feel, how much self compassion does she feel, how deserving does she feel of her flatmate's friendship or whatever. what im really most concerned about personally is how sr feels about herself. but yeah i truly feel sad there is so little direct discussion of feelings and emotions.

there is a process, it seems to us, of doing something you feel guilty for, feeling regret, apologizing, feeling forgiven or not forgiven and feeling self for giving and self accepting and self understanding and self compassion.

there could have also been an issue of being "punished' like if he said u have to move out. then the issue of feeling deserving f punishment would come up, or actually maybe sr already feels deserving of punishment--- do u sr? and how deserving and what kind of punishment if so and how would that help fill whatever unmet emotional need u had when u opened the file, in case u do feel deserving of punishment.

obviously im not a fan of punishment cuz it doesnt fill the punished person's needs. and they needed something in the first place. so they will just be more needy.

thomas gordon said something like punishment is by definition need depriving.

cheeselover just said maybe she would take credit for this post since it is on her account. so if u dont like it, blame her. haha. but if u do, remember it was really me

[brainiac3397]

(06-09-2013 07:27 AM)cheeselover Wrote:  hi - this is actually steve using my partners account. she's here with me btw. we were talking about how the replies don't focus on the emotional aspects of what happened. so i searched the post for the word guilt, and found no results. then i searched for forgive and found no results, then i searched for "apolog" and found no results. then we talked more about how no one is talking about the feelings involved, so then i searched for feel and found no results.

this says a lot and as for how i feel, i feel sad about this. there are intellectually smart pple here and no doubt emotionally smart but the emotional stuff is just sort of missing... as in much of school, work, and basically english speaking cultures. i also feel a bit scared by all of this. scared by what kind of people english speaking cultures are producing

to cheeselover and i, the emotional aspect of what sr did and how her flatmate responded and then how she felt after etc is the main issue. but the discussion just misses all of that.

so i'd ask sr how she felt, like how guilty, cuz she obviously felt guilty. so how guilty from zero to ten. how forgiven does she feel, how much self compassion does she feel, how deserving does she feel of her flatmate's friendship or whatever. what im really most concerned about personally is how sr feels about herself. but yeah i truly feel sad there is so little direct discussion of feelings and emotions.

there is a process, it seems to us, of doing something you feel guilty for, feeling regret, apologizing, feeling forgiven or not forgiven and feeling self for giving and self accepting and self understanding and self compassion.

there could have also been an issue of being "punished' like if he said u have to move out. then the issue of feeling deserving f punishment would come up, or actually maybe sr already feels deserving of punishment--- do u sr? and how deserving and what kind of punishment if so and how would that help fill whatever unmet emotional need u had when u opened the file, in case u do feel deserving of punishment.

obviously im not a fan of punishment cuz it doesnt fill the punished person's needs. and they needed something in the first place. so they will just be more needy.

thomas gordon said something like punishment is by definition need depriving.

cheeselover just said maybe she would take credit for this post since it is on her account. so if u dont like it, blame her. haha. but if u do, remember it was really me

Being a Stoic makes the underlined word nearly foreign to me.

[SoulRiser]

Quote:so i'd ask sr how she felt, like how guilty, cuz she obviously felt guilty. so how guilty from zero to ten.

I'd have to say that's a 10.

Quote:how forgiven does she feel

9, that's how forgiven I feel, though I still don't really know how he feels for sure.

Quote:how much self compassion does she feel,

That's getting better. About a 7 now. Not beating myself up as much... started laughing at myself more.

Quote:how deserving does she feel of her flatmate's friendship or whatever.

Hmm. 5-6 or so. I kinda always feel like I want to repay him for everything. But it's impossible to catch up because he just never stops being kind/generous/etc. lol

Quote:there could have also been an issue of being "punished' like if he said u have to move out.

Can't possibly imagine him coming up with punishment of any kind. Also, we live in the same house, not same room... so can't really tell me to move out, but he could ban me from the room I suppose. Not that he would.

Quote:then the issue of feeling deserving f punishment would come up, or actually maybe sr already feels deserving of punishment--- do u sr? and how deserving and what kind of punishment if so and how would that help fill whatever unmet emotional need u had when u opened the file, in case u do feel deserving of punishment.

I did at first. Not really anymore... I've done everything I can think of at this point to make it better... punishment would not be constructive.