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Teabaggin' Time: some advice for the conservatives
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Rebelnerd Offline

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Teabaggin' Time: some advice for the conservatives

So, who's been keeping up with the "Boo Hoo McCain Didn't Win Revolution" out there? All those relatively small (but exaggerated by Fox News) groups of conservatives who've taken to the streets in protest of taxes, calling Obama Hitler, saying that their people are being robbed, etc.
Some people are offended by them, others support them. Personally, and this is just my opinion, I think they're hilarious. For eight years they've had an administration that showed more respect for it's own shit-covered toilet paper than it did for the Constitutional rights of the American people (and had their own propaganda news channel that downplayed every peach march, saying all protestors were scum), and now the conservatives are still in shock that they aren't in control any more. Basically, it's a textbook case of "tyranny withdrawal." They got so used to living the high life up on Bush's throne that when they try to see how the other side lives, they end up making idiots of themselves.

For the first time in my life, I want to do something that I've never done before: offer some advice to the conservatives. I hate you guys, but I can't help but have a little pity now that you've come down to this.
Leave the protesting to the left. Liberals and subversives have over a hundred years' experiance, from the labor riots of the 1800s to the true revolution of the 60s. Frankly, you guys are noobs. Traditionally you are the Man and we are the punks in the streets, and when you try to make people think that those roles have been reversed, the entire fabric of the spacetime continuum becomes a hyper vortex that will kill us all. There's more to demonstrating than simply buying millions of teabags and then complaining about wasteful spending (!), you've got to have clear and coherant arguments that are simple enough to chant, but logical enough to hold up under a reporter's interview. It's just not your game. Sending out legions of guys in tri-cornered hats is all good and well, but when a local journalist asks them whether they think Obama is a socialist (far left) or a fascist (far right), and they reply "both," it's not exactly earning big points in the PR department. Most people just look you, say "aw, conservatives are so cute when they pretend like they're being oppressed," and keep voting Democrat because they don't want to align themselves with people who can't see irony when it comes up and fingers them in the ass.
Look, the most conservatives ever amounted to when it comes to grassroots movements was the KKK. Don't play the game if you can't play it right. I'm not saying that you guys have no place in demonstrations, that's not true at all. From what I've seen of those 1960s videos, the right can swing a mean baton into a hippie's face. They're also great shots, even with flowers stuck in the barrels of their guns. We're supposed to protest against whoever's harming the people, and you're supposed to march out in gas masks to beat the crap out of us. I mean, come on, the definition of "conservative" is someone who's opposed to social change. Next thing you know, conservatives will be freeing all those people who they sent to prison for smoking pot so that they can try to be the new hippies. It just doesn't work.
Good luck!

I think Buenaventura Durruti is a pretty cool guy. eh kills fascists and doesnt afraid of ruins.
The quickest way to kill a revolution is to wait for it.
04-17-2009 01:49 PM
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Teabaggin' Time: some advice for the conservatives - Rebelnerd - 04-17-2009 01:49 PM

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