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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

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Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.


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talking it out
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the Analogist Offline
Connector of Dots

Posts: 820
Joined: Feb 2016
Thanks: 231
Given 434 thank(s) in 261 post(s)
Post: #1
talking it out

one thing i've noticed and enjoyed is that if i start to analyze and break down my wife's mother, my wife gets kind of happy and enthused.

when you know how somebody else has broken you down, it seems to help to break them down.

is that irony? some sort of vicious cycle?

im having a hard time reconciling the fun and healing of breaking down abusers with the fact that it is a type of backbiting.

just today I humorously summarized my wife's relationship with her mother thusly:
"so basically her daughter is a woman, and since women are sex objects symbolizing sex, and since sex is evil, my daughter is evil. we must contain this evil"

it makes me think of Christopher Titus's "Norman Rockwell is Bleeding", one of the best stand ups i've ever seen about his messed up childhood. and it was hilarious, it helped him. Titus btw once got a fan letter about how a fan of his was all set to kill himself and then stumbled upon his special "Love us evol" and it helped him work through it and heal.

i've always wanted to be a stand up comedian. there certainly is no shortage of bad people to break down...

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
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06-23-2017 02:30 PM
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 Thanks given by: Rule_BreakerXVIII , SoulRiser , sswbm
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Messages In This Thread
talking it out - the Analogist - 06-23-2017 02:30 PM
talking it out - SoulRiser - 06-26-2017, 11:39 PM
talking it out - Rule_BreakerXVIII - 06-27-2017, 02:48 AM

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