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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.


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Weird Dream
Author Message
James Comey Away
Banished Oldfaf in Exile

Posts: 6,500
Joined: Aug 2013
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Given 2293 thank(s) in 1517 post(s)
Post: #2
RE: Weird Dream

(03-20-2016 04:52 PM)Subb Wrote:  I'm in one of the classrooms in my church, with a ton of people, this girl included (This girl has been in my dreams many times, and is the first person in real life that has been in my dreams. She's an acquaintance from church that I might have a crush on). It's dark outside, and what would be florescent lights in the real world give off this deep red glow, making the whole classroom ominous. Class is in session, and the teacher is giving a lecture. I turn and see this girl and a couple of her friends crawl under their desks and start drawing on the underside. The whole class follows, and I start getting angry because no one is paying attention to the teacher.
Did the red glow happen to look like this?
[Image: GZALiquidSwords.jpg]
[Image: HRsBE0f.jpg]
[Image: 786366921LP-2-Back.jpg?width=400&amp...uality=100]
(In all seriousness, you'll want to stock up on good music, this might be a rough as hell journey, trust me when I say this)

The fact that you're angry that no one is listening to the teacher means to me its some sort of internal frustration with yourself. You feel no one is listening to you, whether that be your family, friends, or these acquaintances of your supposed crush. I felt this a lot, because deep down I felt this feeling of being excluded somehow. It's not great feeling it either, and more often than not it can be irrational. It's these kinds of times where you feel you can dictate life.

(03-20-2016 04:52 PM)Subb Wrote:  So, I get up, walk to the light switch, and turn the lights off. The class sighs and gets out from under their desks, and the air is thicker because I just ruined everyone's fun. I go to my seat, and someone gets up turns the lights back on. While the class is busy complaining at me, someone turns and asks this girl "So, what do you think of Subb?" She turns to me and replies "He's nice, but... He thinks we're friends when we're not, like he thinks we're closer than we are. He thinks he knows me a lot, when he really doesn't know me at all." I wake up after that.

Oh boy, this is a very common feeling. It's this very inevitable and helpless feeling of insecurity you get when you have a crush. Sometimes you'll feel this feeling of defeatism, that this trial in romance is ultimately pointless, because you won't get to the promised land. Alternatively, you might find yourself looking for answers online, etc, or listening to so much "deep" music or "deep" reading, but ultimately it's futile.

I'll tell you this, part of finding out is risk taking. This is one of those times. Whether you get to the promised land or this ends in shambles, you'd have learned something in the end at least, and life will eventually go on.


[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

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(This post was last modified: 03-20-2016 05:46 PM by James Comey.)
03-20-2016 05:15 PM
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Messages In This Thread
Weird Dream - Subb - 03-20-2016, 04:52 PM
RE: Weird Dream - James Comey - 03-20-2016 05:15 PM

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