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August 2001 - June 2017

The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.


The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. Send me a message if you'd like to keep in touch with me & Steve.

Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.

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RB18's log of random realizations
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline

Posts: 484
Joined: Sep 2013
Thanks: 734
Given 271 thank(s) in 168 post(s)
Post: #93
RB18's log of random realizations

Survive Your Difficult Family By Being Smart

Source for all the quotes above.

Quote:There is no pill that can make family life easy. There is no pill that can spare you pain if one of your parents is alcoholic, if one of your children is troubled or if your mate is cheating on you. Family life can feel tremendously difficult. Because of the unavoidable intimacy and interconnectedness of family living, each person in a family is held hostage to the personalities, agendas, and shadows of everyone else in the family. You can’t easily avoid your mother or your father, your mate, your children, or your siblings. In a picture postcard family, where everyone loves one another, roots for one another, and never criticizes one another, you might flourish beautifully. In many families, just surviving is the issue.

Quote:Being big brain smart is not the same as being aware, insightful, savvy, or strategic. Often the smartest writer isn’t the most successful writer and the smartest scientist isn’t the one making the breakthrough discoveries. Likewise, often the smartest child in class is the most troubled child and the smartest college student is the one who drops out of college. It doesn’t matter how much native intelligence you have if you aren’t also insightful, alert, and aware.

Quote:Tip: Be smart about what you put in your body. Let’s say that you are feeling sad and trapped inside your family. You go to a mental health professional and leave with a “diagnosis” of “depression” and with a prescription to fill. Now, in addition to your feelings of sadness and your sense that you’re trapped, you’ll have the powerful chemicals you’re taking to deal with. Learning something about those chemicals before you put them in your system is smart. Be smart about what you put in your body!

Quote:There is a big difference between “having a mental disorder” and hating work, hating school or having a miserable time inside your family. If we incorrectly identify what is going on, we set ourselves off in what may prove a fruitless or counter-productive direction.

And this is the reason why I don't feel safe about going to psychologists, counselors, etc; they're more likely to think the problem is in me, not a side effect of having toxic asshats for family.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet

Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

06-27-2017 02:46 AM
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 Thanks given by: SoulRiser
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Messages In This Thread
RE: RB18's log of random realizations - Ky - 05-08-2016, 03:47 PM
RB18's log of random realizations - Ky - 05-23-2016, 06:45 AM
RB18's log of random realizations - Rule_BreakerXVIII - 06-27-2017 02:46 AM

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