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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.


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I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...
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GamerGurl Away
"Queen of Cosplay"

Posts: 676
Joined: Sep 2012
Thanks: 172
Given 233 thank(s) in 157 post(s)
Post: #47
RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(02-11-2014 04:12 AM)Hansgrohe Wrote:  Morally, that is your bird. Don't let them take your bird away from you.

Yeah, that'll be interesting once you reach the age of 18. Do you have any kind of friends or other support who may be willing to let you stay in the scenario your mom boots you from your home? From the sound of it, unfortunately this sounds like this has a chance of happening.
I really don't have a definite place to stay, truth be told. Have talked about it with like around 2 other people but nothing really serious. I really have no friends IRL anymore due to isolating myself inside my apartment since I'm just not a fan of going outside – and to make matters worse just not a fan of the people that live in this city.

(02-11-2014 05:38 PM)xcriteria Wrote:  I realize you probably don't want any help from your parents, but...

What are his options for spending the money? Do you have to go to "trade school?" -- or are there other options? What is "trade school," anyway?

There might be a way to spend that money that benefits you, and satisfies your parents... so I suggest looking into the options.
Dude, I have absolutely no clue. It was pretty vague and at the time since I was so pissed off at her I never thought about telling her if the money could be used for any-fucking-thing else besides school.

You know turning 17 and leaving school over a year ago gave me quite the ego boost in the terms of just not listening to my parents about going back to school. I just got so sick of the words "school" and "study" that I ended up taking an indefinite vacation. I know that sounds pretty much but at least I know what stuff I want to pursue. The bad news is that I feel like I'll be hit with criticism by at least one of my parents.

As for their exact definition of "trade school", it's probably going to something like that or of community college-type of school. You know what I mean? They probably think I want to maje video games but boy, they're so far off it's not even funny. Razz

I haven't even thought of looking into this because I just basically avoid as much interaction with them as possible. You know, I'm acting all high and mighty and standing by my ideals yet I'm still kind of hurting myself. I just want to avoid the pain of hurting myself MORESO by engaging with them about this and not being able to reach a compromise – and with how selfish and adamant both my parents and I can be, I think a compromise is out of the question.

(02-11-2014 05:38 PM)xcriteria Wrote:  Your main desirable options for college or alternatives are probably things that focus on individualized instruction, and knowledge and skills relevant to being an entrepreneur, promoting yourself, understanding some tech skills, and skills like animation, graphics, audio, video, and performance that are relevant to your interests.
Being a professional gamer/cosplayer, active machinimst, anti-compulsory school activist, etc. and having that all come up to entrepreneurship? You know how much I'd love that?


(02-11-2014 05:38 PM)xcriteria Wrote:  I've found several programs that attempt to combine some of the benefits of college, and other key life skills, into shorter time periods than college. You might consider whether these -- or building your own personal plan with these as a reference -- might be a better fit than college, but a step beyond where you are.

Mycelium, 12 weeks, $1500 --

Black Mountain SOLE "Gap Semester," 3 months, $950/month, (includes food and lodging
Full and partial Pay It Forward scholarships are available) --

"A three-month in-residence or commuter program
to design and explore your own personal learning path.

Are you in transition and not sure what comes next?
Do you believe there’s more to life than punching a clock and dreaming of the day you can retire?
Are you ready to challenge yourself to take the first steps in turning your dreams into reality?"

Personally, I'd explore these -- maybe talk to both places and learn more -- but also consider whether their models can somehow be copied in a less-expensive way. However, if there's a way to apply money to things like these, or qualify for a reduced payment, they might be worth considering.
Information overload again! LOL Razz

(02-11-2014 05:38 PM)xcriteria Wrote:  How much money do you realistically need for this? Have you mapped out what exactly you need, vs. what you'd like to upgrade to when you get a chance?
Not really, but honestly I do have an expensive eye when it comes to purchasing things so that's going to be a problem. I kinda love having that advanced and upgraded tech ready to go. I don't just want some 360p camcorder, and trust me you should NOT be using that when making machinimas. Shrug

(02-11-2014 05:38 PM)xcriteria Wrote:  I'm working with some friends on a documentary series related to all of this education stuff, and we're starting out with very minimal equipment, but we're taking steps anyway. Sometimes you do need certain equipment for certain things, but sometimes you can make do with a lot less, at first. And that, in turn, can help you build (1) skills, and (2) a body of work, which can be useful for getting to know people, finding collaborators (who might have equipment and skills that could help you), and (3) even raising some money.
I plan on mostly being an independent, but I'd definitely love to branch out and collaborate with other machinimists, songwriters, pro gamers, etc. once I have a growing and established fan-base.

On the plus side I am a fast learner when it comes to things like this so I think I can do more than just "making do with a lot less".

(02-11-2014 05:38 PM)xcriteria Wrote:  On some level, I think your parents do care about you, even if it comes across as meddling. In the end, you have a mutual agenda: both you and your parents want you to move on with your life. You each have a different vision for how to bring that about, but the key thing is finding "a way," and one that works for you in particular.
Right now since there's virtually no communication between me and my parents I know for a fact that our vision, first and foremost, is completely different and so is the execution of that vision.

The thing is, I played their game with compulsory schooling and I know for a fact I won't be playing a similar game like that with them again. If we can ever come to terms at least, I'm going to make that very clear. Just because they're my parents doesn't mean I'm going to make a complete 360 and love them again or sugarcoat any of my feelings and thoughts. They made me suppress a lot of my feelings and thoughts in the past during the latter part of my years in school and I'm going to make sure I'll never do that to myself again.

If it goes as far as to not having any of their support whatsoever, I'm ready, mentally and emotionally – and have been for a long time already – to take that avenue.

(02-11-2014 05:38 PM)xcriteria Wrote:  In any case, you do have a bit of a dilemma on your hands, to figure out. I'm sure there are several paths out, but it's probably going to take some brainstorming and exploration to figure them out, and decide how to proceed.

I've been stuck in positions of not knowing what to do at multiple points in my life, so I know the feeling well. But there are usually ways forward, even if they're unexpected.
That's an understatement. I'm a little scared for what the latter part of this year will bring for me, and most of that feeling is because I just have absolutely no idea at all of what's going to happen to me or the stuff I own. or the pet that I take care of.

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
02-14-2014 02:09 PM
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RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents... - GamerGurl - 02-14-2014 02:09 PM

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