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The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. My contact details are here.

Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.


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Hello!
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xcriteria Offline
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Posts: 3,090
Joined: Oct 2005
Thanks: 814
Given 930 thank(s) in 612 post(s)
Post: #31
RE: Hello!

(03-04-2014 10:46 PM)Potato Wrote:  
Quote:Venting is healthy...

no it aint

http://www.nytimes.com/1983/03/08/scienc...-good.html

Repression isn't generally healthy, either. Looking for the roots of problems is generally an important part of any healthy strategy. Where is the anger coming from, overall? Is it rooted in the past, is it part of ongoing dysfunctional relationships and habits? And so on.

Also, there's more to opening up and sharing things than the term "venting" implies.

One helpful tool to think about this is the concept of "systems thinking" -- looking at the overall system one is involved in, from your mind, to your social interactions, to the way a community functions.

Here's a short clip on the topic of systems thinking, from Peter Senge, author of The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of the Learning Organization



Watch on YouTube

Now, how does that apply to the things people might "vent" about here on School Survival?

Obviously, the factory-model school environment is extremely frustrating to most of the people who make their way to this site. Peers are another common source of complaints... and families are another. Many people who make their way here haven't had a supportive space to open up and express their bottled-up feelings.

Once they do, though, sometimes it's possible to take the conversation in more productive directions. Whether that happens, or not, depends on part on how people reply to threads... and what their sense of possibility is for people's capacity to grow and evolve.

Of course, just "venting" or "letting off steam" without ever looking at where the steam is coming from is not likely to be healthy in the long run. If people believe there's no way to impact the source of steam, they might well get stuck in either "venting" or "bottling up" mode as the underlying problems persist.

Looking back on old threads, and one's life story in general, is one way to get some perspective on things. As is making sense of other people's stories, perhaps in a less dismissive way than people all-too-often do.

For example:

(03-03-2014 09:54 PM)Stadium Wrote:  Kids are immature because they're not old enough to develop maturity yet, it's simple.

That's a rather hopeless way of thinking about people. Maturity comes from age, and nothing else, and there's nothing people can do to learn or grow, beyond aging?

There's lots of evidence that people can learn and grow, including when it comes to various components of maturity, self-awareness, and empathy.

But this is a key question to discuss further, as many people are stuck in various degrees of learned helplessness, believing that they can't do anything about anything, but "vent" -- which Potato says is unhealthy. There's no way out from a set of circumstances like that... but that's not how life has to be.

(03-03-2014 09:54 PM)Stadium Wrote:  And I hate reading through most of the newer members' posts as well. How do I describe these posts I'm talking about..? Angsty, edgy? It just conforms to a certain stereotype is what I'm saying.

I understand what you're referring to... but the angst and edginess does come from somewhere. The question is, are people doomed to be stuck in that mode... or can they, and others, take steps to some other way of being?

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03-07-2014 07:22 AM
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Messages In This Thread
Hello! - Subb - 11-16-2012, 02:01 AM
RE: Hello! - Heil_Kaiba8921 - 11-16-2012, 03:27 AM
RE: Hello! - Subb - 11-16-2012, 04:31 AM
Hello! - SoulRiser - 11-16-2012, 05:45 AM
Hello! - Subb - 11-16-2012, 06:05 AM
RE: Hello! - McGee! - 11-16-2012, 06:29 AM
Hello! - GreenLamp - 11-16-2012, 06:31 AM
RE: Hello! - SomeRandomHuman - 11-16-2012, 07:42 AM
RE: Hello! - Ky - 11-16-2012, 09:21 AM
RE: Hello! - Subb - 11-16-2012, 09:23 AM
Hello! - Ky - 11-16-2012, 09:26 AM
Hello! - GreenLamp - 11-16-2012, 10:48 AM
RE: Hello! - Heil_Kaiba8921 - 11-16-2012, 10:57 AM
RE: Hello! - Subb - 03-03-2014, 04:40 PM
RE: Hello! - brainiac3397 - 03-03-2014, 04:45 PM
RE: Hello! - Subb - 03-03-2014, 04:47 PM
RE: Hello! - brainiac3397 - 03-03-2014, 04:57 PM
Hello! - Gwedin - 03-03-2014, 05:13 PM
Hello! - James Comey - 03-03-2014, 05:16 PM
RE: Hello! - brainiac3397 - 03-03-2014, 05:39 PM
Hello! - Gwedin - 03-03-2014, 06:20 PM
Hello! - Stadium - 03-03-2014, 09:54 PM
Hello! - SoulRiser - 03-03-2014, 10:36 PM
RE: Hello! - Stadium - 03-03-2014, 10:51 PM
RE: Hello! - brainiac3397 - 03-04-2014, 05:09 AM
Hello! - SoulRiser - 03-04-2014, 06:12 PM
Hello! - Potato - 03-04-2014, 10:46 PM
Hello! - James Comey - 03-05-2014, 09:51 AM
Hello! - Potato - 03-07-2014, 03:41 AM
Hello! - SoulRiser - 03-07-2014, 06:19 AM
RE: Hello! - xcriteria - 03-07-2014 07:22 AM
Hello! - mehr672 - 03-07-2014, 09:56 PM
Hello! - mundelow - 03-08-2014, 02:29 PM
RE: Hello! - Subb - 03-08-2014, 03:14 PM
Hello! - brainiac3397 - 03-08-2014, 03:17 PM

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