I'm almost done...I'm gonna be a senior!

[kokoroki]

Hello all. I'm going to be FREE soon! Next year is my last year!
I have 2 weeks of school left in this school year and I'm officially going to become a senior this upcoming thursday. I never thought I could make it this far...but knowing that I only have one more school year left feels so good. Soon I get to be free from this terrible system and get to start my own life!!
Just ONE more year...it's so exciting.

I just had to vent. Knowing that this next year will be your last one...It makes things seem so much more tolerable.

[James Comey]

Hello there fellow oldfaf from 2013!

Shit, I remember I joined here in my junior year... when you get to that last day and realize there's no more school, you feel so fucking liberated... like it's finally fucking over. Enjoying and having freedom over my life is so fucking awesome.

[Depression101]

The feeling you describe sounds so fucking wonderdul, but I have two years until I can drop out, and it seems so car away. School ends in two weeks for me and it seems like its aeons away. It's just such a hopeless feeling.

[The man]

(05-15-2017 09:11 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  The feeling you describe sounds so fucking wonderful,

FIXED.

[James Comey]

(05-15-2017 09:11 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  The feeling you describe sounds so fucking wonderdul, but I have two years until I can drop out, and it seems so car away. School ends in two weeks for me and it seems like its aeons away. It's just such a hopeless feeling.

Once you get out, it feels amazing.

[Depression101]

4 years? Man, your up the creek. Wait two more years and you'll be laughing out randomly while tieing your tie, or brushimg your teeth, and you'll be walking to and fro along a corridoor and screaming in your head how much you hate school for about an hour. It happens to me. But yeah, I can relate, I actually don't think it's possible for me to stay in a fit mental state, to not have kill myself before school ends. And my parents cannot be persuaded otherwise.

[James Comey]

Holy fuck, four more years.

I wish you the best of luck.

[James Comey]

School doesn't drive most to suicide; just depression.

[Depression101]

Depression morphs into suicide, eventually.

[James Comey]

Or a mediocre lifestyle. Either pick your poison, or find a way out of that bullshit

[Depression101]

I'd rather die than live a normal life. And considering the fact I try putting a knife to my neck and wrists everynight, that should come soon. Anyway, I'm to get my sorry ass to school. Wish me luck.

[Depression101]

Well, I'm back from hell. The first thing when I walk in, drenched in rain, the horror of a maths teacher I have jumps out from behind a corner and ask me where I have been on Friday, I said I've been Dublin to get my passport re-newed, she gave a blank stare and I walked swiftly onward. I read two pages of Catcher in the Rye(the only thing I have nay energy and motivation to read), and then the bell went and we had maths. The fucking whore circled around me like a goddamn hawk because I was out on Friday and rubbed out my work twice, and screamed at me when I forgot to include on small detail. Then fucking science, the best place to read during class: I sit at the back and the tables conceal what we have beneath our stomach's. But we had to go to the computer room, eyes still dreary from lack of sleep, and the fact that I don't bring my glasses to school resulted in a painful 40 minutes of answering science questions on a computer.

It was double science so we had a break afterwards; I got my textbooks, read four pages of Catcher, and the bell went. It was time for Irish. Our fucking teacher talks in Irish and no one can understand her, and she gets sore when we don't know what the fuck to do. And it's a worthless subject -- just like all the rest. And then we had music. We have to play a tin fucking pipe that sounds like a dog getting rapes for practical exams next week, and I can't be bothered to fucking study, and I just pretend to play in class. It's boring as shit and the teachers gets a hemorrhage if we don't study. Then we had geography, but the teacher was out, substituted by my cunt of an English teacher. The bitch left us work to do, but I just wrote a story in class. I didn't feel like it, but when I feel as bad as in school, every escape from reality is fair game. Then lunch time. Finally a time to relax and read my book. But -- nope! Because I applied for music, not knowing that we have to sacrifice our lunch times for it, I just sat there reading. I usually go outside but it was raining, and since I was inside the cunt of a music teacher hunted all the students who skip practice at lunch time and forced us to go. We had to play these stupid fucking drums you hold vertically and beat the shit out of with a stick. It sounds like tom-toms or something.

Then we had a fucking retarded double class about social skills and everthing: they taught us not to speak everything we think, to make eye-contact and showed us these fucking corny videos made on a two-dollar budget. I was fucking boring and three teacher walked around the room like clockwork, making it impossible to even doze off. The English. That just ruined my motivation to live. It was the last class of the day and it destroyed my hope. It fucked everything up.

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]

I'm gonna graduate in 3 weeks
Good luck with senioritis, it gets heavy at late April

[James Comey]

Senioritis is a great feeling really

[Depression101]

Sorry to hear that, man, though I'd have been shocked if it was anything but. What are two guys like us doing in a place like school, huh? We don't belong there, can't they see we're not gonna fall in line. Why do us two and millions of other suffer under Nazi reign in school. Hasn't history taught us enough about authoritarian and totalitarian regimes and rules.

[Depression101]

Is there no light in our darkness?

[Depression101]

By the way, I still haven't found out what the Xcriteria deal is. What light has he provided?

[James Comey]

xcriteria used to post walls of texts in response to many threads. Yeah, it was very difficult to read sometimes, but he genuinely listened and tried to make the forums a better place.

Honestly xcriteria has ended up being one of the most influential people I've met. He really meant that much to me.

[James Comey]

xcriteria is one of the greatest members on here.

[Depression101]

All hail Xcriteria -- I'm going to that man's funeral when he fucking dies, with the biggest flowers of all the goddamn people. People like him are what this world needs. That site should win a Nobel peace prize or some other recognition of his great humanitarian work.

[James Comey]

(05-16-2017 07:29 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  All hail Xcriteria -- I'm going to that man's funeral when he fucking dies, with the biggest flowers of all the goddamn people. People like him are what this world needs. That site should win a Nobel peace prize or some other recognition of his great humanitarian work.

You've only known him through some forum posts lol.

But yeah he's an awesome dude in general. Too bad shit's gotten crazy lately.

[the Analogist]

(05-16-2017 07:03 AM)Benjavaz Wrote:  

(05-16-2017 06:58 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Is there no light in our darkness?

I can see just a little bit of light, but it's such a small amount that it's almost hopeless to try to get to.

I've got a fresh opinion on the light at the end of the tunnel, its not actually hope, its the emergence of you.

The problem with the system and our shitty parents is that they beat us down. but if we even do find the courage to stand up, not because we're going to beat them back, but because we've just got better things to do than lay down, then whatever crap is spewed our way we can actually laugh it off and rebut effectively.

The inclination to murder is much healthier than the inclination to suicide, but ignoring toxic people is only easy when you really have a basis upon which to love yourself. self indulgence is a mean trick you play upon yourself, but saying to the world STFU I've got something better to do is a way of properly elevating you above all that crap.

I gotta post this in a better worded way

[James Comey]

(05-22-2017 12:34 PM)the Analogist Wrote:  

(05-16-2017 07:03 AM)Benjavaz Wrote:  

(05-16-2017 06:58 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Is there no light in our darkness?

I can see just a little bit of light, but it's such a small amount that it's almost hopeless to try to get to.

I've got a fresh opinion on the light at the end of the tunnel, its not actually hope, its the emergence of you.

The problem with the system and our shitty parents is that they beat us down. but if we even do find the courage to stand up, not because we're going to beat them back, but because we've just got better things to do than lay down, then whatever crap is spewed our way we can actually laugh it off and rebut effectively.

The inclination to murder is much healthier than the inclination to suicide, but ignoring toxic people is only easy when you really have a basis upon which to love yourself. self indulgence is a mean trick you play upon yourself, but saying to the world STFU I've got something better to do is a way of properly elevating you above all that crap.

I gotta post this in a better worded way

Self shame is a horrible thing that for whatever reasoned seems to be a way of conditioning in this society.

Like, take too much and you're automatically selfish. Or break something that you didn't even knew how it worked and suddenly you're a horrible person. It continues when you grow up too. People often tell you to "be nice" when in reality you're just learning to be a doormat and you're never honest with yourself.

It's the classic saying: "learn to love yourself before you love others".