Mom HATES me

[Lucas Gallindo]

It's not a suppossition. She said it. Yesterday, she EXPLODED when saw my grades. She started to SPANK me, not like a mother, but like bull. She said some other HORRIBLE things that any mother would say. She said these things:

• I am her bigger disappointment
• She would like to abandon me
• She hates me
• She is going to adopt a new son when I become an adult, because "this one" have failed
• She wants I suffer
• She blames me for complicating her marriage (which isn't true)
• I am demoniac
  

Well, she says she is just trying to gimme God's word (obey parents), but I go to church more often than her, I am more religious than her. Would a christian try to daze devils using things that atract them? My mother would. By the way, I don't hate her back, I love her, as we must love everybody.

Due to what she says, I think she is about to get into depression. I understand her. She is a teacher, she always loved teaching. Then, when I desobey my teachers, she stays very offended. Then, I decided to effort more at school for her. Man, I started to cry on the third class because I did (do) not have time to study things I like and care about! I studied do much to pass in the exams, that my fingers are hurting a lot.

Resume: Or my mother is happy, or I am happy; My mother is about to get into depression because of me, then, I am in a better situation.

[Sadly_Not]

Holy crap man, get help! That's not a situation you should stay in! I don't know how to help but can I keep you in my thoughts or..

[UnicornLionWolf]

I'm not sure what you mean by

Quote:daze devils using things that atract them

What exactly do you mean?

Anyway, if I were in your situation I would pray. I know that's not much, but I wouldn't know what else to do at that point.

[Azine]

That sounds like a terrible situation :(

Perhaps the church could offer her some mental help? Seems like what she has goes beyond being "just" an abusive parent. Anyway it is awful you were verbally and physically beaten up by her.

This may sound creepy from a person on the internet, but to be honest your situation reminds me even more of how I want to set up something like couchsurfing for young people who are in situations like you, and are open to unschooling.
Lainie Liberti and Blake Boles actually have temporary learning communities of groups of unschooled teens, and I thought of it that way, plus living in an environment that is more safe.
I'm not sure ofcourse if you would actually want this or if you (or anyone on here) is in a position to do this, but I would just love to help people stuck in school in a better way than over the internet.
And if Lainie, Blake, and Summerhill school (the ancestor of Sudbury schools, residential free school in the UK) can do it, than maybe a grown unschooler/school traumatized person, can do it too. I actually have some friends who would want to do this with me so it isnt just my idea.

[xcriteria]

Lucas, this is really terrible to hear :( Similar in ways to the ways many parents respond but way more extreme than what I usually hear about.

I'm just catching up on the forums after being away for a while, but I saw your other post about homeschooling too. Have you talked to your parents about homeschooling as a way to reduce the pressure on everyone from grades? And is there any way your mom would be open to learning more about alternatives to conventional grades-driven, forced education, especially as she's a teacher?

If you (and your parents) haven't seen these videos, I'd suggest checking them out and sharing them if you think they'd be open to them. I kind also link you to many other videos, articles, and books that could be relevant to your situation. Feel free to PM me or reply further here and I'll do what I can. I'm also a big advocate of what Azine described, that there be in-person learning communities for people who want to homeschool/unschool but where their home situations aren't the best (to put it mildly.)

Videos:

Ken Robinson's Changing Education Paradigms talks about some of the issues with conventional schooling and where it came from. He also has several other really good talks like Do Schools Kill Creativity?

Ken Danford's TEDx talk School Is Optional has what I think is a really good overview of how school doesn't work for some people and there IS another way for learning and success to happen, without conventional school. He started out as a teacher in a conventional school but he realized it just wasn't working.

I really hope things can get better for you soon, and if there's any way we can help let us know.

[Lucas Gallindo]

(11-25-2016 05:06 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  I'm just catching up on the forums after being away for a while, but I saw your other post about homeschooling too. Have you talked to your parents about homeschooling as a way to reduce the pressure on everyone from grades? And is there any way your mom would be open to learning more about alternatives to conventional grades-driven, forced education, especially as she's a teacher?

Here in Brazil, not going to school is a crime, but it's starting to change just a little. HS cases here are extremely rare and when the government accepts this for a family, it makes tests for the kids like in a school, and if they don't ge' goo' gra's... BAM!!! The parents are in the jail (but it actually never happened, 'cos HS is good enough for this).

Another point, my mom said that she "does not believe" in HS, "does not believe" that parents can teach "everything" to their children and "does not believe" that it's possible to learn anything by their own. You will not believe in her arguement: "if someone can learn 'everything' by their own, why do I work?!". In other words, she does not believe in other kinds of education because she doesn't want to accept the reallity!

She has lots of feelings about school, because when she was yonger, she used to go to the school just to eat, she would like to have gone to a "good" school like mine is today, it was her only chance to grow in her life and etc.

[Geicosuave]

(10-29-2016 04:51 PM)UnicornLionWolf Wrote:  I'm not sure what you mean by

Quote:daze devils using things that atract them

What exactly do you mean?

Anyway, if I were in your situation I would pray. I know that's not much, but I wouldn't know what else to do at that point.

um you could get help from a counselor or if the abuse continues tell someone or tell more people

[stevehein]

(11-24-2016 02:48 PM)Azine Wrote:  ... your situation reminds me even more of how I want to set up something like couchsurfing for young people who are in situations like you,

Hi Azine... I have thought about the same thing for a long time.. here is something I just posted about it...

http://eqi.org/p3/j/alex/cs-for-teens.htm

I suggest we start a new thread to talk about this. what do u think?

And I agree with everyone else - the mother is highly emotionally abusive.

I have written a lot about emot. abusive mothers...

http://eqi.org/eam1.htm

I might add a link to this post.