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School Survival Forums / Learning, Youth Rights and School Survival / Homework Help & Answers v / Some quick help? Any appreciated...

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Some quick help? Any appreciated...
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FarBeyondDriven Offline
Enemy: packaged rebellion.

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Post: #1
Some quick help? Any appreciated...

I've got an English assignment due in today but have avoided finishing it. The class was given instructions to write a news article on the discovery of five new species of animal, including an interview with the founders, etc... here's mine so far:


The Zoo York Times / 10 - 5 - 12 / Page 7

Medical Miracle or Power Abuse, Animal Misuse?
Discovery of sixteen year-long project leading to discovery of five new species of animal overshadowed by cry of outrage at founders’ plans for them.
By (me), 10:17 BST 10 May 2012, Yorkshire, England – For medical scientists studying the practice of curing certain human illness via the usage of animal bodily parts and contents, today's unexpected announcement concerning the discovery of not one, not two, but five new species has come as a very welcome surprise. Russia-based Bulgarian scientist and prestigious member of the International Medical Science Society, Dr. Nikolei Andrei Evgeni, braved the icy Scottish breeze earlier this morning to state during an Edinburgh press conference highly anticipated for months:

"Today, I announce to you Russia’s discovery of five new species of animal. After sixteen years of researching animal genes, a predominant study amongst several other aspects of medical science, and the differences as well as likenesses viewable between animals and humans’, it has been concluded by the International Medical Science Society that these species could help towards the curing of many wide-spread diseases in ours’.”

When asked how, Dr. Evgeni replied:
“The process of finding out how we at the many lavatories scattered around Moscow to Rostov-on-Don could use these, uh, the genes and bodily contents of animals to advance the landscape of medicinal treatment for genetically transported human disease. By disease, we mean cancer, Major Depressive Disorder, cataracts… cancer in particular. Any related to the entity of the human body rather than one specific area really... It has taken us more than sixteen years, sixteen years officially, but independently several more to… identify the link between you and myself – human beings -- and the animal. But to the point, at this time, I am unable to disclose exactly what we have discovered nor how.”

[Image: tumblr_m3xrppbKct1r02zm0o1_500.gif]
Sheldo… Dr. Nikolei Andrei Evgeni with five of his previous feline test-subjects

I realize teachers don't get parody/sarcasm. I don't care.

Thoughts? Corrections? Need some "help" finishing it off... so help, eh. Preferably go into detail (even just add a sentence as contribution) about what the Russian and U.S./English government think, what they're doing in action of thinking this way, protester's opinions, etc.

This isn't cheating! Because... it isn't! Laugh
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05-20-2012 05:52 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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RE: Some quick help? Any appreciated...

Laugh
I am of no help, but did find that amusing.
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05-20-2012 06:43 AM
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FarBeyondDriven Offline
Enemy: packaged rebellion.

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Post: #3
RE: Some quick help? Any appreciated...

[Image: tumblr_lyhi5pw1PP1r6m7ewo1_250.gif] Laugh

I'd love to send an anon stalker email to one of my teachers with spams of these images.
Hidden stuff:

"When will you guys realize that the only difference between my real life and a porno is my life has better lighting?" - Barney Stinson, "How I Met Your Mother"

[Image: barney-stinson-how-I-met-your-mother-dis...f3-124.gif]
(This post was last modified: 05-20-2012 09:16 AM by FarBeyondDriven.)
05-20-2012 07:33 AM
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ExpiredDough Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Some quick help? Any appreciated...

Oh no... I came to late. I was going to help you with this but then I realize it was due "today". Sorry England Girl (or guy). So, what was your grade on it?
05-21-2012 03:48 PM
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FarBeyondDriven Offline
Enemy: packaged rebellion.

Posts: 206
Joined: May 2012
Thanks: 0
Given 9 thank(s) in 9 post(s)
Post: #5
RE: Some quick help? Any appreciated...

(05-21-2012 03:48 PM)ExpiredDough Wrote:  Oh no... I came to late. I was going to help you with this but then I realize it was due "today". Sorry England Girl (or guy). So, what was your grade on it?

I got an A*.
Hidden stuff:

"When will you guys realize that the only difference between my real life and a porno is my life has better lighting?" - Barney Stinson, "How I Met Your Mother"

[Image: barney-stinson-how-I-met-your-mother-dis...f3-124.gif]
(This post was last modified: 05-22-2012 03:38 AM by FarBeyondDriven.)
05-22-2012 03:07 AM
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