School Survival Forums
talking it out - Printable Version

+- School Survival Forums (
+-- Forum: Support & Psychology (/forumdisplay.php?fid=54)
+--- Forum: Psychology - Life, Love & Learning (/forumdisplay.php?fid=56)
+--- Thread: talking it out (/showthread.php?tid=37651)

talking it out - the Analogist - 06-23-2017 02:30 PM

one thing i've noticed and enjoyed is that if i start to analyze and break down my wife's mother, my wife gets kind of happy and enthused.

when you know how somebody else has broken you down, it seems to help to break them down.

is that irony? some sort of vicious cycle?

im having a hard time reconciling the fun and healing of breaking down abusers with the fact that it is a type of backbiting.

just today I humorously summarized my wife's relationship with her mother thusly:
"so basically her daughter is a woman, and since women are sex objects symbolizing sex, and since sex is evil, my daughter is evil. we must contain this evil"

it makes me think of Christopher Titus's "Norman Rockwell is Bleeding", one of the best stand ups i've ever seen about his messed up childhood. and it was hilarious, it helped him. Titus btw once got a fan letter about how a fan of his was all set to kill himself and then stumbled upon his special "Love us evol" and it helped him work through it and heal.

i've always wanted to be a stand up comedian. there certainly is no shortage of bad people to break down...

talking it out - SoulRiser - 06-26-2017 11:39 PM

Yeah, I've noticed it makes me feel better to say bad things about people who have made me feel bad for whatever reason. It doesn't usually feel very constructive though, but sometimes I just don't want to be constructive. Sometimes I need to be destructive towards that which brings me down before I have the energy to build it back up again, differently, and better. I think the last part is important... if that doesn't happen then it's just kind of pointless.

talking it out - Rule_BreakerXVIII - 06-27-2017 02:48 AM

If you correctly identify what's wrong with your abusive ex-family, you're that much less likely to copy those behaviours yourself. It's not only backbiting or wanting to tear them down; this instinct can be constructive as well.