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The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Rusty Shackleford - 01-20-2014 06:35 AM
Last thread of the day, before I hit my bed to sleep, as I have to report to gulag #520 for mandatory reeducation tomorrow, but I have a question for you.
Do all your friends want a girlfriend badly? My friends all are in need of a girlfriend, and they will do anything, like sucking up to the older kids, or even manifesting stalker-like behaviour in one extreme case. I do not need a girlfriend (yet). I have no insane sex drive (I would like some, though), and I do not have a desire to acquire popularity (as this popularity won't last beyond high school).
Yet every one of my friends wants a girlfriend, and this is getting annoying. Why do people do this? In this case, I can't put it down with libido (as I have seen none of them look at the great tracts of land of the female sex) or social pressure (as we basically form a small group of social outcasts) so what drives them?
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - James Comey - 01-20-2014 06:40 AM
I created a thread about this, but fuck it, I'll reply.
I get constantly tired of the "get a girlfriend" talk. My brother used to constantly pester me about this shit, alongside with the BS "first kiss". I actually took that shit seriously, but then I got on these forums. Alas, I changed. I think he's accepted my social patterns and behaviors are much different from others.
I mean, a majority of school is BS anyway, and school is filled with fake people, or at least people who act that way. I hate making generalizations, but it seems many people at my school tend to get in relationships or whatever without really knowing why, other than just to fill that drive or perhaps a popularity move.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Quioxte - 01-20-2014 07:06 AM
Man, I would totally hook up with a hot chick if there were some around right now. Not saying I should, but it's hard sometimes being a man.
It's a blessing not needing be with someone else. John Wayne once said something along the lines of "The only kind of man that can do well with a female is the kind of that doesn't need one." And that's super true. It's really good to know the art of being happy being alone, it's something i have to re learn over and over again. People who run from one relationship to the next, or are constantly "talking" to new people, etc. are seeking personal validation from the attention of another person and that is a something that will hinder them for the rest of their life unless it's addressed. Furthermore, nobody who dates people for personal validation will ever truly feel love, because everything they do will be for an inherently selfish reason.
Love is like a butterfly, you try to sneak up behind one and catch it by the wings, you'll kill it. However one day if you're lucky one day when you aren't looking and you're like laying in a field of flowers or something minding your own business, one will land on you and it'll be really pretty and nice. The end.
RE: The 'get a girlfriend' drive - WhatEvenIsThis - 01-20-2014 07:10 AM
I get extremely tired of it. There is no one I like at my school... ok, there are some I LIKE, but not LOVE.
I absolutely fucking despise it when people make others feel bad by saying "you really need a girlfriend" and that for just being logical, like one guy is really smart and stuff and wants to live for himself (a person like me), and the fucking duckface selfies (the type of) complain that he should get a girlfriend, fuck that. It is NONE of your business, you rotten wankers!
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - James Comey - 01-20-2014 07:10 AM
Interesting. I've always had "urges" to talk to girls simply because of my hormones, but my better judgement always wins. Not to mention I'll make a complete mockery out of myself and that said person.
RE: The 'get a girlfriend' drive - brainiac3397 - 01-20-2014 07:46 AM
I like women...a lot.
My sexual urges are pretty powerful. But I also have non-sexual urges. Simply being around women is satisfying.
But I have too much other stuff to work on in life. Much to fix. Much to rebuild. Much much more...
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - James Comey - 01-20-2014 08:44 AM
My sexual urges are often determined by my thoughts. Sometimes I just want to start talking to girls, but my social anxiety prevents that (and perhaps for the better, I'd probably make a fool out of myself). However, other times, I don't give a flying fuck.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Gwedin - 01-20-2014 09:35 AM
Lel. Girlfriends in high school are 95% of the time pointless and only last a few weeks before they get butthurt ermahgerd you're an asshole (WTF did I even do???).
Yeah... I stopped even giving one fuck about socialising in high school.
If something happens, it happens, but I definitely won't pursue having a romantic relationship.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - KFC Nyan Cat - 01-20-2014 10:10 AM
I desire sex, yet dating and marriage is something I don't like the idea of. Putting one person who essentially amounts to just another friend on a pedestal and giving them half your stuff, sounds...wrong to me. I like to treat all of my friends (as in, my real friends, not the idiots at my school who think they are my friends) as equal, so I'm not treating anyone like they are special.
And no, I'm not going to Craigslist or some other site looking for casual sex. I'm only in 7th grade, anyway.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Blanket - 01-20-2014 11:14 AM
Girls make up a big chunk of my friends that I actually spend time with IRL. Sometimes I have those male urges, sometimes not. Most of the time, I just act like a normal guy who spews out the occasional joke or pun. I do have a crush on this chick in my circle of friends, but I'm pretty sure she's not interested in any relationship with anyone before. Eh, beggars can't be choosers or some shit.
RE: The 'get a girlfriend' drive - brainiac3397 - 01-20-2014 01:46 PM
I only had interest in one chick during highschool. She was smart and good looking. And mature.
Told her I liked her in a letter left in her locker(hey...my impecable charm and superb intellect and massive ego hadnt developed perfectly yet. Cant blame me. It was not only my first time but I was in 11th grade.). We had texted a little before, but she stopped texting me after the letter and never discussed it. Senior year I asked to speak with her at the local library and talked about it a bit and how I liked her. She pulled the "I dont see you that way...we be friends" thing. Then we just sat there glancing and smiling at each other for a few minutes till she had to go. Then we walked back together to school.
I felt relieved really. Mainly because I could tell shr wasnt completely no but more like "I dont know too much about you eve though we've been classmates for 4 years"(In all fairness, I was always an enigma to people. Rarely overindulged about myself, made a witty joke or two, tossed out smart remarks and ingenious ideas. But in the long run I didnt give people much to go on except for me being a mystery and intelligent.)
After that I found it an appealing sensation. Then my interest in women reached a new level. Course life hasnt given me the time to cultivate and indulge there. I could indulge but that would result in awful consequences for the future and slowly devolve in quality as my life rusts from time passed and nothing done.
I dont think my proper life will be starting till I become 20-21. Till then..."I got shit to do"
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - LightAbyssion - 01-20-2014 08:02 PM
I'm saving this girlfriend shit for my early 20's. I see lots of guys starting around that age and they tend to be more mellow about it.
The relationships (if they can even be called that) I saw in high school were shallow and transitory. It was like they just dated for a few weeks to say, "see? I got a girlfriend so I'm automatically better than you."
I never saw it as a big deal since immature preteens go on "dates" these days, proving it doesn't take much talent.
Quioxte's post is good too. I just do my own thing and if attraction happens then that's great, but I don't go chasing it like I'm desperate.
RE: The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Neried - 01-20-2014 11:38 PM
(01-20-2014 07:06 AM)Quioxte Wrote: Man, I would totally hook up with a hot chick if there were some around right now. Not saying I should, but it's hard sometimes being a man.
It's a blessing not needing be with someone else. John Wayne once said something along the lines of "The only kind of man that can do well with a female is the kind of that doesn't need one." And that's super true. It's really good to know the art of being happy being alone, it's something i have to re learn over and over again. People who run from one relationship to the next, or are constantly "talking" to new people, etc. are seeking personal validation from the attention of another person and that is a something that will hinder them for the rest of their life unless it's addressed. Furthermore, nobody who dates people for personal validation will ever truly feel love, because everything they do will be for an inherently selfish reason.
Love is like a butterfly, you try to sneak up behind one and catch it by the wings, you'll kill it. However one day if you're lucky one day when you aren't looking and you're like laying in a field of flowers or something minding your own business, one will land on you and it'll be really pretty and nice. The end.
my mum asked me why i was kneeling in front of the computer.
RE: The 'get a girlfriend' drive - timf - 01-21-2014 01:53 AM
It has been said, "Living by yourself is much preferable to living with a mistake".
RE: The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Rusty Shackleford - 01-21-2014 02:35 AM
I agree with all of you. Relationships simply aren't worth it in high school. I'm hoping to start something when I get to university. I also read somewhere that beginning with sex in university somehow makes you more mature regarding sex, which makes sense to me.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - James Comey - 01-21-2014 04:33 AM
I have a crush right now which is actually driving me nuts, for one it was a person I once loathed (and not the kind of loath you get when you like a person, just regular loath), and in general it's a strange one. However, I've pretty much just said to myself: whether it's the obvious (not liked back) or somehow in Christ's name it's a miracle (liked back), I can't win in this situation. I've just accepted it. My mind gets really strange mixed feelings when I say that. A lot of happiness yet a lot of despair.
But other than that, I'm saving most of this stuff for my 20s. I want to date a woman in her late 20s or early to mid 30s. A woman who is mature, already know's what she wants in life, open-minded, and isn't much of a marrying-type. I don't like the idea of marriage. In particular it's not very flexible. If that's your thing, go get married. It's not my thing.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Ky - 01-21-2014 04:36 AM
I found mine without even trying to look. Perhaps that's the best way.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Ky - 01-21-2014 05:27 AM
^ Imagining the future is such bull.
Before my metaphorical butterfly landed on me, I couldn't picture life with her. Now I can't imagine a future without her.
Our perception of the future isn't the future; it's worse than tunnel vision, but it gives us motivation to act on something in the present.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Gwedin - 01-21-2014 09:35 AM
^ True. But when I imagine the future, it sucks too.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - James Comey - 01-21-2014 10:05 AM
I hate fantasizing about the future. Usually it's far too grandiose, especially considering not a lot of things go my way.
Crushes are a strange thing. In one month you're fantasizing about doing everything with that particular person, but then eventually as time passes, sometimes it just fades away completely. I know that for a fact.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Ky - 01-21-2014 10:12 AM
Not to sound like I'm bragging, but I'm genuinely confused by this - what the heck would you call a crush that not only doesn't ever seem to stop, but is also similarly returned by the person you're crushing on?
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Gwedin - 01-21-2014 10:17 AM
Love that, if it ever gets off the ground, will only last three weeks at max?
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - James Comey - 01-21-2014 10:17 AM
Interesting. Like I said, crushes are really weird things. Perhaps a "mutual crush"?
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Ky - 01-21-2014 10:19 AM
It appears, then, that she and I have successfully defied statistics, at least for the past year and a half. What the actual heck.
Still, I'm not complaining.
Edit: "Mutual crush". Yeah, kind of fits. Too bad our society is rigged to make these fairly uncommon, what with the emphasis on impenetrable social hierarchies and ridiculous dating traditions and all.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - James Comey - 01-21-2014 10:20 AM
Damn it, you're lucky. Then again, I'm only 16. Life still has many weird twists and turns, and often it's just plain weird.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - Ky - 01-21-2014 10:28 AM
Life is the worst story ever; deus ex machinas everywhere. Just imagine that one of these days, you may just be even luckier.
RE: The 'get a girlfriend' drive - James Comey - 01-21-2014 01:25 PM
(01-21-2014 10:28 AM)DoA Wrote: Life is the worst story ever; deus ex machinas everywhere. Just imagine that one of these days, you may just be even luckier.
Perhaps. I've had really bad luck in high school relationships before unfortunately. AKA never had a girlfriend, though to be honest I may be better that way. Perhaps my extra sensitivity has made it worse. Rejection really sucks (or perceived rejection, at least) when you have extra sensitivity.
RE: The 'get a girlfriend' drive - brainiac3397 - 01-21-2014 03:58 PM
I never bothered looking for a girlfriend in HS.
Too much a narcissist. I didnt have time to spend on others when I was busy making plans for world domination...
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - James Comey - 01-21-2014 04:21 PM
I stopped caring for the most part when I ventured on to this site for the first time. I realized the HS dating and "first kiss" was all bullshit and nothing really relevant.
The 'get a girlfriend' drive - James Comey - 01-21-2014 04:29 PM
As an observation, it seems society loves to make a big ass deal about high school dating. It's almost as if the media and society in general makes your youth to be a failure if you didn't get laid.
Yeah, sure. Not my fault I had much bigger priorities. Honestly, during middle school I never really saw any importance in getting a girlfriend. It was all miscellaneous and relationships are a big thing, and I at the time I didn't feel prepared to have any kind of relationship (even today I still don't). However, my brother constantly pestered me about it and made it as if it was the most important thing in life. Unfortunately, I conformed to that BS and tried and failed rather miserably during 9th and 10th grade. Fortunately, I don't give a shit (though my crush is still driving me crazy, though I'm slowly becoming more assured that, as weird as it is, it's momentary) anymore, and haven't since August.