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+---- Thread: Similar Snowflakes (/showthread.php?tid=1999)
RE: Similar Snowflakes - Username - 11-24-2016 05:10 AM
May I ask what 'e2' is exactly without going there myself?
Similar Snowflakes - vonunov - 11-24-2016 07:02 PM
You might as well take a look. The worst (?) thing on the front page at the moment is that somebody has selected a node titled "vagina" for listing in the User Picks.
http://everything2.com/title/An+Introduction+to+Everything2
Quoted:
Spoiler (Click to View)
RE: Similar Snowflakes - Vatman - 01-12-2017 02:46 AM
I'm flattered that you would suggest a site with a larger audience, unfortunately that isn't my goal. I have earned a relatively worthless bachelor of science in marketing, and while mostly worthless, it's credentials should assure you that if I was attempting to pursue internet notoriety than I wouldn't be posting here.
As I type this I'm sitting in a rooftop bar in Ho Chi Mihn City, Vietnam. I needed to get away from the rejection emails of fortune 500 companies, and surprise surprise, I'm staring at the headquarters of Deloitte and EY
I've been traveling in Vietnam for a few weeks now, I've seen the rice terraces of Sapa, the Limestone Islands in Ha long Bay. I got into a motorcycle accident in Hue. I looked deeply into the eyes of a new Zealand tourist with blonde hair, a Buddhist mindset, and a nose piercing that any suburban mom would point out in a condescending way. Events happen, terrain changes.. She is running from something, and I call her out on it. She asks me if I've ever truly meditated, gone outside of my own mind and become one with the living energy of the world.
Now readers, only a few weeks ago I was in Thailand, repeating words I didn't understand while incense burned and my legs slowly lost circulation. I was attempting to meditate with these Buddhist monks; not because I believe in it, but because I couldn't find a logical reason to not try.
I failed.
The goal is to stop thinking, and that isn't something Vatman turns off. My mind raced in overdrive. Gold Skin, Pad Thai, Mole on his head, look left, my leg is asleep. You get the idea.
I told the girl with the nosering that of course it's true that we are one with the universe, but to deny our individuality is unrealistic. I told her that her feet are feeling the souls of her shoes in such a way that the rest of the universe could never fathom. She was unique, connected, but unremarkably alone.
I only have a few weeks left before I fly back to the States, maybe I should stay out here longer. Running away isn't as dramatic when you have a return flight scheduled down to the minute.
What am I really trying to avoid?
Similar Snowflakes - vonunov - 01-12-2017 12:05 PM
It isn't about notoriety. I don't think the place is all that popular anyway. They really seem to love this kind of thing is all.
RE: Similar Snowflakes - Vatman - 06-21-2017 11:47 AM
I sometimes imagine myself out of body, as a wispy spirit passing through matter. In this fantasy I can embody the things I pass through; I can know the thirst of a tree or the warmth of limestone in the summer sun. Man made substances are more complicated, they don't feel the same sort of consuming certainty, it's a muted feeling, like its own purpose detracts from its chemical composition. Floating through plastics is curiously like the need to hiccup, visceral, light headed, muddied vision. Sometimes mid sentence I leave myself, and take up the bench I sit, or a cloud in a familiar shape. Is the need to belong so strong for me that I need to will myself spectral in order to connect to it all?
Time has become my enemy. I can't stand to look at calendars or to make plans in advanced. Even if you take particular care to count each second; focusing on the consistent length in repeated symbols so that each Mississippi can reflect machine precision... it continues to flood, like the Nile, predictably creating life.
It's cruel and beautiful that you can feel so very alone among others. It's somehow the ultimate insult to express it as well, to look at a companion and tell them that their presence makes you feel isolated. No crude comment about character or action can compare. There is a certain type of personality that can achieve this result in me, the kind that feels perfectly comfortable around others, non skeptics, they are their best selves only around others and can't separate their identity as from the group they belong. In some ways it's our cultures fault for facilitating these freaks of society. Our great epics are about groups of people uniting in common cause, the great romances are about having our love be accepted by the world, even our tragedies are about societies failure to understand. It's all resolved in the context of the group. Individualism is white washed in this context as well. It's not about seeing how far your mind can go, it's about how you can express your version to others.
I revere madness in this way. Don't get me wrong, I don't romanticize the isolation, the pain it causes others. I don't buy into this idea that mental illness is in someway a gateway to genius. I envy the mad because I couldn't possibly follow their logic, I'm a slave to the narratives and information I've grown up with and painstakingly accumulated. Even my wildest fantasies are based on those before me. I don't have an original thought in my genetics, I'm encoded to be apart of it and I still can't feel it enough to satisfy and ironically crave more. A more knowing touch, a more familiar smile, a kiss that means more.
Do you know how I feel? This contradiction I live with when I close my eyes each night.
Hypocritically yours,
~Vatman